If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
