remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
