does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
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NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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