it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
