Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize