Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
