census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Quick, to the slutcave!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
