FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
