i think i have two assholes
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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