Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize