when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
