Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
