I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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