My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yo dont text me then not text me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
