She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
