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so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
