Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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