Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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