When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
