He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
