He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Randomize