dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
