The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You ruined the universe
Randomize
