I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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