I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
