"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The best revenge is premature balding
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
