I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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