if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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