At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
