you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
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HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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