I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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