i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
