i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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