I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
