so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
