margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
