Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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