I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
