Sry I called you an 8
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
