Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize