what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
