omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize