Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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