would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
