i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
