he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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