Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
