I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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