M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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