dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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