Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
