a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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