I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
