I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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