And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
