marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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