Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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