im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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