I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Terrible idea I love it
The adults are the big ones right?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
