Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
