i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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