Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
