Is it because I queefed?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
