Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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