everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
