Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My balls are so social today.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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